if_inconvenient | (no subject)

"Ah, yes. Certainly, if your mother is any indication, you are destined for a life of charm and subtle venom."

Cal snorts.

"Yeah. You know, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, even though everyone knows anyway, but Dad's running for President in the next election, so I'm gonna get a lot of practice in the next couple of years."

Getting votes for his father is pretty much why Cal was born. It certainly didn't have anything to do with anyone in the family wanting a child.

"Oh, that sounds delightful," he says dryly. "Bless Howard Stark for keeping his offspring out of the public eye."

For one thing, it introduced convenient doubts about the number of said offspring.

"Yeah, you guys got lucky there," Cal says. "You got to skip all the boring parties."

Cal was always jealous of the kids whose parents left them at home for the stilted social affairs that consisted of everyone trying to impress everyone else (and, he realized when he was a little older, everyone knowing that everyone was trying to impress everyone else), but he himself was one of the ways in which his own parents aimed to impress. Such a lovely family, such a charming boy, just like his old man.

He wants Dad to be President, of course, and he knows he has to put in the work along with the rest of his family, just like every other would-be President's family has always had to do, but he wishes he could just skip ahead to the day after Election Day.

"Now imagine the pair of us at one of those parties, and reconsider who exactly is lucky to have escaped such a fate."

Sherlock is certain that only disaster could have resulted, and knowing Tony, that disaster would have befallen everyone else.

Cal thinks about this.

"God, that would have been awesome."

There is something that could almost be called longing in his tone.

"Would it really?"

"Anything that could make those things not boring would be awesome."

Also anything that might piss everyone else off. Double points for that. The people who attend those social affairs deserve to be fucked with, as far as Cal is concerned.

"Use your nefarious Chandler powers to convince Tony to crash one," he suggests.

Cal grins at him.

"Don't think for a minute that I couldn't."

This is one of very few areas in which Cal is genuinely confident in himself. It shows.

"Oh, I don't know, the Stark boys have always been notoriously difficult to convince."

Why yes, this is a blatant challenge.

"He'll be at the next one."

Whenever that is.

"You will too." Your challenge is boring, Sherlock. Cal is fixing that.

"Will I? I was not aware."

"And you'll think it was your own idea."

Despite this conversation.

Yeah, Cal knows he's overdoing it a little now, but fuck it, it's fun.

He laughs.

"Oh, my dear fellow, if you can convince me of that you deserve your victory."

Cal just smiles.

"You're on."

"I look forward to it."

Weren't they going to watch a movie? Not that Sherlock is planning on mentioning that.

Cal is totally going to win. Sherlock's never seen him in action, after all.

"Weren't we gonna watch a movie?"

"It is quite possible."

Cal snorts.

"It won't kill you, I promise."

"I'll take your word for it. Go on, then."

"You might even like it," Cal says, going over to put the movie into the DVD player.

"Not that you'll admit it."

"If I enjoy this film I assure you that you will be the first to know."

Cal chuckles and says,

"I'm gonna remember you said that."

No cheating.

"I could hardly expect anything less."

He takes a seat on the couch.