if_inconvenient | (no subject)

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One entirely innocuous afternoon, Sherlock places a call through Jarvis to Cal's cellphone.

"I did."

Frankly, it would surprise Peter more if Sherlock didn't have his home's security system recording all the calls he makes; having such advanced technology at his disposal must make that very easy. And probably more secure.

"I'm under instructions to inform you that if there's any difficulty during Obadiah Stane's impending visit while Sherlock is out of town, you're to contact us for assistance."

"Very sensible. I'll make a note of it. And how are you? The last time we spoke you were somewhat indisposed."

. . . small talk with a computer? Really?

Peter considers hanging up, but sheer curiosity keeps him on the phone.

He does reach for some reports that need looking through, though. Things in the house have settled considerably since the funeral, but there are still just barely enough hours in the day to get almost everything done.

"I'm fine," he says. "It was just a mild concussion." It is not at all a shock that the former Mr Chandler couldn't even manage to knock him out properly.

"Glad to hear it."

He sounds amused. Can computers be amused? Apparently this one can.

"Mm," Peter says. "I don't have time for a serious injury."

He sounds distracted, which he is; the reports are higher priority, after all.

"You and Sherlock have that in common," he observes.

"I guess we'd better both hope we're as good as we think we are, then," Peter rejoins.

Personally, he's fairly confident that he's better than he thinks he is, regardless of any paradox that might cause.

"If you're as good as he thinks you are, you shouldn't have any trouble."

It's Peter's turn to be amused.

"Glad to hear it."

"And in my experience Sherlock's judgment can be relied on absolutely."

"He hasn't let me down yet."

Peter frowns slightly at the document he's reading, then sets it aside and reaches for another.

Dryly: "Shall I leave you to your paperwork?"

Peter doesn't answer for a moment, comparing one report against the other. Is he going to have to fire someone again?

"Yes, it looks like I have something else to attend to," he says eventually.

"Goodbye, Mr Beardsley."

Peter just hangs up.

. . . to be strictly fair, even if Jarvis were a human being, the odds that Peter would have been more polite in ending the call are still only fifty-fifty at best.

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