if_inconvenient | (no subject)

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So. Alec Carrow.

Sherlock is aware that social boundaries apply to this situation, and that he is currently breaking them all. He doesn't much care. He is wholly capable of discretion, but he is not at all capable of remaining ignorant in the first place.

Start with finding the obituary. Work from there. How did he die? When?

(Tony doesn't know about the conversation with Alyce. Tony doesn't know about a lot of things. Tony has been spending more time than usual ensconced in his workshop with the door locked, hacking Stark Industries records like he doesn't remember that Jarvis won't keep secrets between the two of them. Sherlock is a little surprised that it seems Tony was on the level about arming him more formidably.)

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"I was thinking much the same thing," Sherlock confesses, grinning. "It seems I am unable to sustain a conversation without subterfuge. Perhaps I am just out of practice."

That gets him a look if surprise and delight, and now Alyce does duck her head. Her cheeks are a little pink.

"We can practice together. Build our skills."

This does feel kind of real. Which is... weird.

But not bad.

"An excellent opportunity."

Beat.

He leans a little closer.

"What on Earth do people talk about?"

She giggles (less nervously this time) and leans in a little, too.

"I think... sports."

She wrinkles her nose. "Baseball. I'm pretty sure they talk about that."

Sherlock considers this.

"It is not," he says with comically exaggerated regret, "my area of expertise."

"I thought you knew a little bit about everything. I think my illusions are shattered."

"My sincerest apologies," he says, in a deadpan that is a lot more grinny than his usual. "I will endeavour to be more omniscient in future."

"I should hope so," she says in mock indignation. Then she laughs again, tossing her head back.

"Did you know you're funny? I mean, not in a bad way. You have a great sense of humor. No one makes me laugh like that anymore."

She winces inwardly. She should've left off that 'anymore'.

"I am pleased to hear it. So few people appreciate my sense of humour."

By which he means Jarvis is basically the only one, but Alyce hasn't met Jarvis properly, so she won't understand why he doesn't quite count.

"Your friends have no taste," she says, making the assumption that someone as smart and funny (and cute) as he is must have plenty of friends.

They must be away on vacation. Or something. Hmmm.

"So I have often said."

Where he takes 'your friends' to mean... Tony.

Yeah.

"You need a new one, then."

The slushy remains of her drink are suddenly fascinating as she stirs with her straw.

"Someone with great taste."

It's about now that she crosses an invisible line. She'll defy Tom if he continues his plans.

And that? Will probably suck. But it's time to say no.

"...I would be honoured."

And the thing with Sherlock is that he can say things like that and you can tell they're genuine.

"You would?"

Really?

Sometimes Alyce lacks self-esteem. Okay, maybe a lot of the time she lacks it.

"I would," he affirms.

She hesitates for one moment. If he's playing her, she'll die. Then she'll kill him. Tom won't get to have all the fun.

She doesn't think he's playing her.

"Okay," she says, her voice quiet.

He smiles at her, kind of dazzling but also kind of shy.

His very first friend who isn't Tony or Jarvis. Imagine that.

Eeee. A friend who isn't evil and who maybe isn't even all that amoral. This is exciting.

"So what do you like to do best on lazy summer days," she says. "Besides meeting a friend for coffee."

Sherlock laughs softly.

"Research," he suggests. "Ignore whatever Tony is blowing up in the basement. Play the violin. And yourself?"

"Walk. I like to walk all over the place. Sometimes I go to the beach and watch the waves. Sometimes I like to shop. Sometimes I'll go with Trixi, or I'll go over to her house and watch movies. I don't like to stay home."

"I do like to walk," Sherlock agrees. "And do you know, after three years of taking walks outside after dark, the vampires still have not learned to avoid me."

"I never have trouble with them. If I can outsmart them, it must be crazy easy for you."

"Perhaps I resort to the laser a trifle too easily."

"Oh, like a gun?"

How exotic!

"Nothing so exciting." He grins. "There are advantages to growing up with Tony Stark. He modified a laser pointer to emit ultraviolet light. The vampires don't approve," by which he means, they catch fire and die. "I can get you one, if you like."