if_inconvenient | (no subject)

Guess who's oblivious?

He rolls his eyes, but he doesn't seem to catch any weird implications. (What he catches is that Sherry is even less friendly than usual. He chalks it up to Obie's cracks about social skills.)

"Maybe he just doesn't wanna talk with his mouth full," he suggests helpfully. Around a bite of pizza.

He's ready for it this time, and it's easier to take a punch when you know it's coming. He manages not to look at Sherlock, not to seem as though he noticed anything other than the surface of Obadiah's words and Jesus did Tony really have to say that right this very second? If he didn't know better, he'd think Tony was in on it.

He keeps his eyes on the slice in his hand for a few extra seconds, lingering over the bite he's chewing, taking that vital time to compose himself before he swallows and has to answer.

(His face is just a little warm, but it's not noticeable, is it?)

"This is good," he says to Tony, "where'd you order it from?" A weak effort, especially considering the logo on the boxes, but he'd rather look stupid than vulnerable. Anything is better than vulnerable.

"Domino's," says Tony—and the logos are mostly obscured by open lids, so Cal could just be incredibly unobservant, to which he can relate— "is without doubt the best goddamn pizza joint in the country. Am I right?"

"I can't argue," Obie concurs, all innocence.

"Certainly," Sherlock agrees. His voice is light, neutral.

He might not fool Obadiah; he probably won't fool Tony; and if nothing else, Cal is going to see right through that facade of indifference to the part of him that would rather propel Obadiah out of the room by force than continue to make polite conversation.

Cal thinks Sherlock is doing a fairly decent impression of someone who just wants to get through something he considers unpleasant without upsetting his brother. That's probably what he'd mistake the act for if he didn't know better.

But he does know better, and the subtle indication of support is reassuring. He is, for a change, not in this alone. He relaxes a little, and the smile he gives Tony is convincing as he says,

"I don't know, Uno does a deep dish that's pretty good, you ever been?"

"Nope. Should I?"

He is open to pizza-related suggestions! And frankly, he is completely okay with talking to Cal while the other two shut up and eat their pizza!

Cal is happy with any scenario that involves Obadiah not saying anything.

"Yeah," he says, "they're mostly on the East Coast, but there's a couple out here. I just wish there was one a little closer."

He can do harmless, meaningless small talk for as long as he has to. Especially since Tony seems not to notice exactly how poisonous the atmosphere is in here. Cal would like, for Sherlock's sake as well as Tony's, to keep it that way. If Tony doesn't see it, after all, that means he doesn't have a reason to see it.

Either that, or - no, Cal would rather cling to what little optimism he can find right now.

"Yeah?" Tony is honestly and completely interested in this conversation. "Well, where's the nearest one?"

"I think the one I went to was in Modesto?" Cal says. "Uh. If there is one closer than that I don't know about it."

He did, in fact, look it up once. There was a pot-induced craving involved.

He takes another bite of his pizza, mostly for appearance's sake. Any appetite he had before is gone.

"We should totally go there sometime," Tony declares, making a gesture that includes himself, Sherlock, and Cal. "All three of us."

He is serious about his pizza.

"I'm not invited?" Obie asks with a smile. Tony laughs and shakes his head.

"One, you only eat pizza because you love me so much; two, you live on the wrong coast; three, after half an hour in a car with a bunch of teenagers you'd shoot yourself."

Nice try, though, Cal doesn't say.

"Sounds good," he says cheerfully. "I'm in."

This time the conversation allows for a look at Sherlock, under the guise of finding out his thoughts on a pizza trip.

"I suppose I could endure such a venture," he says dryly.

Tony provides a helpful translation: "That means yes."

Cal laughs.

"Yeah, I'm getting used to Sherlock speak," he says, his tone fond.

Even if he does occasionally wish he had a dictionary on him.

"I speak perfectly intelligible English."

"From the wrong century."

Cal thinks briefly of Milliways and says,

"It's not his fault the time machine was a little off."

It'll sound kind of random to Tony, he knows, but Sherlock will appreciate the reference.

He finishes his slice and takes the opportunity to not reach for another.

Sherlock puts his hand to his mouth to prevent himself from laughing pizza all over the table.

"Looks like you've figured out his sense of humour, too," says Obadiah. "Could you translate for the humans in the room?"

For that, Tony will give him the flattest look in the history of flat looks.

"Cool it."

"I was just—"

"And now you're just shutting up."

Obie raises his hands in surrender, still smiling gently. After a moment, Tony relaxes and goes back to his pizza.

So occasionally he does notice. Or occasionally he decides to let it bother him. Frankly Cal doesn't see what was worse about that than anything Obadiah's said to Sherlock so far, but - okay, fine. At least it was something.

"We were watching a time travel movie," he non-explains; he's still addressing Tony, not Obadiah, and adds a look that says We'll tell you the real story later. It's not a subtle look, but one designed to let Obadiah know, silently but clearly, that he is not included.

Hopefully Tony will pick the more innocuous Milliways-related translation.

"Oh, right."

He grins.

Tony is not, in fact, a terribly subtle person. He is just about up to the task of not immediately blabbing the existence of Milliways; also finding some way to not exclude Obie, who kind of can't know what the hell everyone is talking about, is beyond him.

Something was worse about that, judging by how Sherlock reacted—the disproportionate tension when Obadiah spoke, the disproportionate relaxation now that Tony has come to his defense.

Cal, focused mainly on Tony (and on telling Obadiah to go fuck himself with such discretion that even Violet would be proud), didn't really notice Sherlock's reaction. He does turn to Sherlock now, though, and say,

"If you don't mind, I think I'm officially out of excuses for putting off studying."

Let's get the hell out of here now.

"By all means."

He gets to his feet.

"Shall I see you out?"

"Sure." If Sherlock comes up with an excuse to leave with him between here and the front door, Cal would also be okay with that.

He gets up too, saying,

"It was nice to see you, Tony, thanks for the pizza."

Obadiah gets a neutrally polite,

"Mr Stane." Acknowledging his presence. Nothing more, nothing less.